i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
