Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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