So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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