i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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