We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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