So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
