just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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