Screwed.edu
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just blew my weed a kiss
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i think my cat just said my name.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
