nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize