Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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