My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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