the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
