if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
