I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
