If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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