i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
