2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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