My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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