My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
