God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
