Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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