Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
