Apparently you make a good broom.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
