I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
