I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Pants are for mortals
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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