he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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