please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
