five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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