i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
