After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
