I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize