Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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