i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
this will be a night to untag.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
