He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize