That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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