need another drink. this is the easiest way
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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