so that wasnt chicken after all
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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