I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
