It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
ttyl tear gas
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
