hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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