She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
