Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
