I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
