I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I love having hate sex.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
