dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
