It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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