I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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