That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
