I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize