were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
