I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
