Already got asked if we're dating
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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