32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
