high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
