Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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