Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ladies don't puke and tell
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
