I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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