Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
