I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
