All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
