I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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